Goddess Fish Promotions has organized a virtual book tour for DRAGON APOCALYPSE by Josh Powell, a humorous epic fantasy novel available now. The tour will run November 23 - December 18.
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by Josh Powell
GENRE: Humorous Epic Fantasy
On their way to apprehend a temple thief, Gurken Stonebiter, a templerager of the temple of Durstin Firebeard, and Pellonia, a little, but infuriatingly clever, girl stumble onto a quest to save a town from an evil dragon. The dragon is demanding sacrifices of maidens, and the town is fresh out. Can they discover a way to sate the dragon's bloodlust and save the town?
Along the way, Gurken and Pellonia meet up with Maximina, a half under-elven woman that also happens to be a tad psychic, a ranger with a dash of necromantic ability, a smidgen of samurai training, and just enough time living as a rogue to acquire the ability to sneak up on and stab a foe in the back. Maximina is full of clever ideas on how to gain a tactical advantage over her foes, and on occasion they even work.
During their adventures, Gurken, Pellonia, and Maximina face a snarky unicorn, do battle with a terrible frost giant, contend with a rival adventuring party bent on their utter humiliation, and confront the end of the world in the form of an evil sorcerer and a teeming dragon horde. Can they save the world one more time?
“Stand aside, master thief,” Gurken said. “Your skills are useless here. As you can see, there is no lock for you to pick. The door is barred from the other side.”
“You haven’t even tried to open it yet,” Pellonia said. She walked up to the door and gave it a nudge. It did not open.
“As I said,” said Gurken, “stand aside.” Gurken took an enormous swing at the door, his axe biting deeply and lodging into it. Gurken strained to pull the axe back out of the door.
The board behind the window slid aside and a face with bushy eyebrows and a bulbous nose looked out. “Did you just cut into my door with your axe?” the dwarf asked.
“Aye, I did,” Gurken agreed, turning red.
“Without knocking first? Just come cuttin’ your way in?”
“Well, the door was in our way.”
“I should hope so! That’s what doors are for. To keep some people in, some people out, and let others pass between. It wouldn’t be of much use if it didn’t get in folks’ way.”
“But we needed to get by,” Gurken said.
“Did you consider knocking?”
“I did try to push it open,” Pellonia said. “It didn’t budge.”
“Of course not! It’s locked! To. Keep. People. Out. You have seen a door before, have you not?”
“Then let’s try this again. I’m going to close the window. You knock.”
“But we’ve already got your attention,” Pellonia said.
“It seems to me, that you need the practice,” said the dwarf, closing the wooden cover behind the window.
Who is your intended audience and why should they read your book?
Fantasy lovers of all ages. I keep cringing at the “Young Adult” label, because yes, I believe young adults would love Pellonia’s wit and enthusiasm and Maximina’s endlessly creative plans, but the books are also something I’d love to read. I appreciate the way they take your expectations and play on them in a funny way.
How did you come up with the title of your book or series?
I was just getting ready to start the book, a sequel to my first book The Berserker and the Pedant. I had the main character, Maximina Nobility, picked out. She’s an under-elven jack of all trades, master of none, who loves trying new things and although she learns very fast, she never quite sticks with something long enough to master it. So, anyway, I was sitting in a panel on cover art at Baycon when someone in the audience spoke about how he would read anything with the word Dragon on the cover, or something like Apocalypse and that the title Dragon Apocalypse would be an instant attention grabber. That was fine and good, but there were no dragon’s planned for the story yet. So I added one, okay two... well, eventually there are thousands, it is an apocalypse after all.
That’s actually something I do a lot, incorporate humor I find in the world into my books. In the first book, The Berserker and the Pedant, even the voice actor who voiced the audiobook added some humor. He read the word geas as ‘gesh’ and when I said no it’s pronounced ‘geese’ he promised to redo it with that pronunciation but his gamer friends would kill him. I realized gesh vs. geese was an ongoing minor feud in the community so in the book it went. And it works perfectly because, Arthur Gimble, Wizard of the Tenth Rank, is a pedant who is driven to correct the atrocious grammar of others. Putting him together with a berserker dwarf leads to endless grammatical fun.
Tell us a little bit about your cover art. Who designed it? Why did you go with that particular image/artwork?
The cover art was designed on 99 designs by Alerim, an artist from Romania. She beat out 80 designs to come out on top. The cover features Maximina Nobility, a character new to the series and who I’m very proud of having created. More about her next question. I love the cover because the colors are so striking, the blue orb stands out against the orange red background and, of course, there are the dragons in the background. Maximina looks very strong, like someone you would not want to mess with, but at the same time quite alluring. I see her and want to more know about her.
Who is your favorite character from your book and why?
Maximina! She’s my favorite because of entirely narcissistic reasons, her personality is based on one aspect of mine: I learn very fast, but then get bored. This is exemplified in how my wife and I play games, she takes longer to learn them than I, but once she does she wallops me every time. It goes without saying that we have an extensive gaming collection. Maximina’s name is derived from the gaming term min-maxing. A min-maxer is someone that looks to exploit the rules, often in incredibly “creative” ways in order to get the largest benefit.
An example of min-maxing from D&D in earlier editions are darts. Darts had the highest number of attacks per round and, according to a strict min-maxer interpretation of the rules, got the wielders strength bonus on top of the damage of the dart. That meant darts could pump out enough damage to kill a small dragon in a single round when wielded by a high strength character. So, of course, Maximina starts off the quest using darts, only to abandon them when she finds something even better...
Give us an interesting fun fact or a few about your book or series: What other books are similar to your own? What makes them alike?
I’ve been called the American Terry Pratchett, but I think they were humoring me. I’ll accept that moniker after I’ve written forty-plus books and have been a fiction best-seller. His books really are the closest thing I can compare my writing to, except he does it with a distinctly British style and sense of humour and my sense of humor is American (If you see what I did there, you’d make a great pedantic wizard). Pratchett also spends a lot of time describing things that have happened, and I write in the present, describing things as they happen. His way is probably better, he’s got the fans and successful career to prove it, but I enjoy my style because I get lost in the words and story more easily.
How can we contact you or find out more about your books?
You can send me an email to firstname.lastname@example.org or on twitter @seasoup. My books are Amazon exclusive right now, not necessarily because I think that’s the best way to go, but because it’s most of the market and I haven’t had time to expand yet. I’m focused on writing instead of promotion, which bring me to:
What can we expect from you in the future?
Many, many, many more books. I intend on putting out two per year. I’ll be writing four trilogies all set in this world, any one of which will be a completed storyline and good starting point to this world, followed by a closing trilogy that brings all four threads together. So, 15 books in the main storyline. Sounds a bit daunting, but it should only take 8 years and the trilogies will themselves be a complete storyline, so it’s not like you’ll be left wanting for your favorite storyline to be finished in 8 years. This first trilogy will be complete next year.
What can readers who enjoy your book do to help make it successful?
Reviews, reviews, reviews! Nothing is more powerful for me than I excellent review. I use them in marketing the book, I put them on the back of the cover of the physical copies, I even put one up as the first paragraph description on The Berserker and the Pedant. I hope to get The Berserker and the Pedant to 50 reviews and then submit to bookbub, which will really help get the book out there.
You can also email me and talk to me about what you loved about the book, I get ideas all the time from conversations with readers that spark something for the next book. I even have the book edited chapter by chapter as I write them because interacting with the editor sparks ideas. Hopefully this request will come back to bite me later and I’ll get hundreds of emails, but for now my inbox is lonely. You can give it some attention.
Beta reader volunteers would help even more. So yeah, someone who wants to help out can leave a review (Amazon & Goodreads are best), email me to talk about the book, or volunteer to beta read.
Do you have any tips for readers or advice for other writers trying to get published?
Read, read, read, then stop reading and write, write, write. Write the entire first draft all the way to the end even if some parts suck. You can come back later and fix them and then the book is in editing mode and you can be critical about things, you don’t want to be critical when writing, you want to be creative and criticality stifles creativity.
Is there anything else you’d like to say?
Just thank you to everyone for reading, I hope you enjoy the books as much as I am.
AUTHOR Bio and Links:
JOSH POWELL, wielder of the Sommerswerd, destroyer of the thread, expeditioner to Barrier Peaks, discoverer of his magic talent, and venturer into the Tomb of Horrors is known for having survived a harrowing adolescence full of danger and fantasy. He's gone on to write The Berserker and the Pedant and Dragon Apocalypse and is currently working on the yet to be named third book in the series.
He also spends some not inconsiderable amount of time wiggling his fingers over a keyboard as a software engineer. He lives with his wife, Marianne, and two amazing children, Liam and Chloe, in sunny California, where winter is, most decidedly, never coming.
NOTE: THE BOOK WILL LAUNCH AT ONLY $0.99 ON NOVEMBER 30!
Jason Werbeloff’s short stories have been downloaded over 20,000 times. Obsidian Worlds brings together his 11 best-selling sci-fi shorts into a mind-bending philosophical anthology.
In Your Averaged Joe, a man’s headache is large enough to hold the multiverse. Q46F is an obsessive-compulsive android who finds love in a zombie-embroiled apocalypse. The end of the world isn’t all that bad – The Experience Machine will fulfil your every desire (and some you hadn’t considered). A sex bot dares to dream of freedom in Dinner with Flexi. But mind what you eat, because The Photons in the Cheese Are Lost. Don’t fret though: The Cryo Killer guarantees that your death will be painless, or your money back when you’re thawed. Unless, that is, you’re The Man with Two Legs.
Plug into Obsidian Worlds for these and other immersive stories, including the hilarious Time-Traveling Chicken Sexer. Your brain will never be the same again.
(from Your Averaged Joe):
“Sorry, this is a bit overwhelming. Let me introduce myself.” Then all three men spoke in unison, extending their hands, “I’m Thursday.” They each chewed a piece of gum, their masticating movements simultaneous.
Joe eyed the identical hands. Long, frosty fingers. Whitest skin. He shook hands with each. Their grips were firm. All three.
Thursday continued, “This is the Chamber.” He waved his arm around the room proudly. Joe considered the space. The rows of beds seemed to stretch forever. He couldn’t see the end of the room. And no pillars. Nothing to support the pink ceiling that extended in all directions. Joe scrunched his feet at the enormity of the Chamber, and the floor squeezed between his toes. But the floor wasn’t smooth – it was … hairy? He glanced down, and yup, fine dark hairs covered its surface. It was like standing on a forearm. Goose bumps erupted along his arms, down his legs, Joe shifted his weight to his heels, trying to avoid the hairs from scratching between his toes. And as the goose bumps spread across his back, down his chest, the ground beneath his feet changed. Between the silky black hairs, the fleshy floor lumped in places. Lumps the size of fists. Bumps, goose bumps. On the ground. He shivered.
Trying not to think about it, and resisting the urge to jump, to get his feet anywhere but on the fleshy floor, he stared at the beds. Each held a single occupant, each with brown hair, each wearing the same pale blue nightgown he was wearing. Joe looked to the bed beside his, and his heart stopped.
The man in the bed was him.
AUTHOR Bio and Links:
Jason Werbeloff is a novelist and philosopher. He loves chocolate and his Labrador, Sunny.
He's interested in the nature of social groups, personal identity, freedom, and the nature of the mind. His passion is translating philosophical debate around these topics into works of science fiction, while gorging himself on chocolate.
Amazon Author Page – download all of Werbeloff's fiction from Amazon.
Do you believe that some souls are destined to be together, even through hardship and deceit?
After 9-11, Declan’s heart is torn between wanting to stay with Morgan and needing to fight for his beloved country. Knowing that the future may be uncertain, he kisses his fiancée goodbye and focuses on his mission until that dark day from which he will never fully recover. Injured in Afghanistan, Declan has lost more than part of his leg; he’s lost part of himself, now plagued in grief and guilt. How could he possibly ask Morgan to take care of him for the rest of his life, being nothing but a burden to her? Which would be more heartbreaking, feigning his own death or bringing her unhappiness every day? If only he could eradicate her from his mind and be at peace with his decision.
Morgan prays day and night for Declan’s safe return, but when his letters stop coming, Morgan knows in her heart that she has lost him forever. Morgan has a hard time believing in fate and destiny after her fiancé is taken from her. With Declan gone, Morgan’s hope for true love is destroyed, but eventually she finds comfort in the arms of another, even though Morgan’s new love knows that her heart belongs to Declan.
Will Morgan eventually be able to move on, or will Declan haunt her dreams forever?
Her face was the only thing that had kept him sane during his deployment. At this moment, however, thoughts of Morgan had been pushed to the side for reasons of pure survival. Declan wiped the mud from his eye with a swift movement of his hand, just quick enough so that he could see again. Booming thunder went off near and far.
Swearing under his breath, Declan closed one eye and squinted the other shut as he spied his target. Breathe. One, two, three… he could do this. The first time he’d had to shoot another man he had faltered, hesitated only the briefest of seconds, during which time the man escaped his line of sight and shot a fellow soldier in the leg, causing serious injury.
This time, Declan concentrated, aimed his M4 rifle, and fired. The distinct thud of a man dropping to the ground confirmed the target had been hit. Swiping at the sweat in his eyes from the sweltering mid-day heat, Declan gulped and struggled to his knees. Lining up his rifle again, his neck and shoulders ached with fatigue. He bit down and gritted his teeth, tasting dirt while fighting off the pain.
It seemed as if hours had gone by, when in fact, it had probably only been minutes when finally the haunting sound of gunfire ceased. Not one to trust silence in any setting, Declan mentally counted upward until he reached near fifty.
“All clear,” his buddy, Sean, called out. “All clear.”
Declan, always cautious, still maintained his position until he heard his fellow soldiers from his platoon begin to speak. Peeking up from his ravine, Declan rose slowly to his feet as the rifle was pressed to his side.
Surveying the damage, it appeared that several of their enemies were lying still on the ground. The man he had shot lay still, appearing lifeless. Another man lay several feet away. It seemed the enemies had taken off, deserting the boundaries of the mountainous terrain of Afghanistan. His platoon mates fell silent, all business as they quickly gathered their belongings to head back to base.
Declan clutched his rifle, drawing closer to his victim. Curiosity had gotten the best of him. Fully aware of his previous actions, Declan stepped even closer. He had never killed a man before — injured, yes, but never killed. This man did not appear to be alive.
His heart sped up as sweat caused his fatigues to cling to his body. For God’s sake, the man looked to have been only in his early twenties at best. What have I done? What are we doing here? Waves of nausea rose and Declan swallowed hard.
“Hey! Step back!” Sean called out. “Move out! I repeat, move out!”
Hearing his friend call out to him, Declan turned toward the sound of his voice, realizing his mistake seconds too late. He should have known better; he should have. But no amount of training can prepare you for taking another man’s life.
Glancing swiftly at Sean through tear-stained eyes, he saw the movement in his peripheral vision. Sean raced to the open dirt road. They were sitting ducks, in plain sight. The man that Declan had presumed dead, the one he had shot, raised his own rifle and fired at Sean, who dropped instantly to ground.
“No! No!” Declan spun his head back to the imminent threat, a moment too late. The force of the explosion knocked him to the ground in an instant. Morgan’s face was the last thing that registered in his mind as another shot fired, leaving his world black.
Clouds scattered overhead, cries of gulls bringing back another time, a different memory, sitting here with Declan by her side. Morgan squeezed her jaw, fighting back the pain.
Months later, there was still no word from Declan. On the Internet, she had searched out his name relentlessly but there was no mention of Declan, no death certificates and his name couldn’t be found on any list of casualties of the war. It was as if he had simply disappeared, but that wasn’t possible and she feared the worst. He was gone and there was no closure for Morgan, as his only living relatives were his mom and some family living on the west coast, whom Declan hadn’t seen in years. Even she and Declan’s old friend, Stephen seemed to be losing touch.
She could sit on this beach and watch the water forever; it was a place Declan had cherished, a place she felt close to him. Never again would her life be the same without Declan Blake. How was she going to make it without him?
The world was quiet and without joy for Morgan. Even Morgan’s mother nagged her to speak with a therapist. She didn’t see the purpose of smiling or laughing when it was all forced. Constant thoughts of Declan plagued her day and night.
Morgan nearly jumped when her cell rang. First instincts were to let the call go to voicemail, but she knew the person calling would only persist. That’s how it had been lately; she would ignore phone calls only to find tons of messages waiting.
It was Elle, calling for the second time that day. “Hi, Elle.”
“Where have you been? I’ve been trying to call you for hours,” Elle exclaimed.
“I don’t know, I’m just hanging out.”
“Down by the river again?” Elle inquired.
“Yup,” Morgan responded as she moved her foot around in the sand.
“Figured as much.”
Elle’s voice sounded odd, almost as if she were hearing her close by. Morgan turned to see her friend walking toward her on the grassy path leading to the small beach.
Rising to her feet, Morgan felt tears escape. Elle was by her side, arms wrapped around her within moments. Morgan released Elle and took a small step back.
“Oh, Elle, what am I going to do?” she sobbed.
“You’re going to live, dammit. Declan would want you to be happy.”
“How? How can I forget about him, just move on?” It wasn’t possible, she had tried, and it just wasn’t working. Even when she was at work, she was just going through the motions; she did her job, but her heart wasn’t the same.
“I think it’s time for you to see someone to talk about all of this. You’ve waited long enough.”
She was right and so was her mother, believe it or not. “I will, Elle. I will because I don’t know what else to do.”
“Morgan, you’re the strongest person I know. You have so much happiness and love to share. I have full confidence in you. You’re going to make it and come out stronger in the end.” Elle spoke through her own tears.
“Thanks, Elle. I love you.” Morgan felt better knowing there was someone on her side rooting for her.
Author Mya O'Malley
Mya O'Malley was born and raised in the suburbs of New York City, where she currently lives with her husband, daughter and three step-daughters. The family also consists of a boxer, Destiny and a ragdoll cat named Colby. Mya earned an undergraduate degree in special education and a graduate degree in reading and literacy. She works as a special education teacher and enjoys making a difference in the lives of her students.
Mya's passion is writing; she has been creating stories and poetry since she was a child. Mya spends her free time reading just about anything she can get her hands on. She is a romantic at heart and loves to create stories with unforgettable characters. Mya likes to travel; she has visited several Caribbean Islands, Mexico and Costa Rica. Mya is currently working on her eighth novel.
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Must Love Otters by Eliza Gordon is an adult romantic comedy that is on sale on Amazon for only $0.99 until November 30th. Hollie Porter Builds a Raft, the second book, is now available for sale as well. It's a great time to start the series! To celebrate the sale we're also giving away a $25 Amazon gift card & audiobook CD of Must Love Otters!
Book Title: Must Love Otters
Author: Eliza Gordon
Genre: Romantic Comedy
Recommended Age: 17+
Release date: Oct. 29th, 2013
About the Book:
Hollie Porter is the chairwoman of Generation Disillusioned: at twenty-five years old, she’s saddled with a job she hates, a boyfriend who’s all wrong for her, and a vexing inability to say no. She’s already near her breaking point, so when one caller too many kicks the bucket during Hollie’s 911 shift, she cashes in the Sweethearts’ Spa & Stay gift certificate from her dad and heads to Revelation Cove, British Columbia. One caveat: she’s going solo. Any sweethearts will have to be found on site.
Hollie hopes to find her beloved otters in the wilds of the Great White North, but instead she’s providing comic relief for staff and guests alike. Even Concierge Ryan, a former NHL star with bad knees and broken dreams, can’t stop her from stumbling from one (mis)adventure to another. Just when Hollie starts to think that a change of venue doesn’t mean a change in circumstances, the island works its charm and she starts to think she might have found the rejuvenation she so desperately desires. But then an uninvited guest crashes the party, forcing her to step out of the discomfort zone where she dwells and save the day … and maybe even herself in the process.
Hollie Porter Builds a Raft is now available for sale!
raft (noun): when two or more otters rest together,
often holding hands, so they don’t drift apart
Hollie Porter has put her old gig as a 911 operator and sad single girl in an attic-bound box, right where it belongs. She’s rebounded nicely from her run-in with Chloe the Cougar in the wilds of British Columbia, and this new life alongside concierge-in-shining-armor Ryan Fielding? Way more fun. After relocating to Ryan’s posh resort at Revelation Cove, Hollie embarks on an all-new adventure as the Cove’s wildlife experience educator, teaching guests and their kids about otters and orca and cougars, oh my.
When darling Ryan gets down on one NHL-damaged knee and pops the question of a lifetime, Hollie realizes this is where the real adventure begins. It’s all cake tasting, flower choosing, and dress fittings until a long-lost family member shows up at the Cove and threatens to hijack her shiny new life, forcing Hollie to redefine what family means to her. What is she willing to sacrifice to have one of her very own?
As Ryan’s words echo in her head—“Our raft, our rules”—Hollie has to face facts: a raft isn’t always tied together with blood and genetics. Sometimes it’s secured by love and loyalty… and occasional help from the clever creatures that call Revelation Cove home.
Eliza Gordon has excellent taste in books, shoes, movies, and friends, and questionable sanity in the realm of love. Best leave that one alone. In real life, she’s an editor, mom, wife, and bibliophile and proud parent of one very spoiled tuxedo cat. Eliza writes stories to help you believe in the Happily Ever After; Jennifer Sommersby, her other self, writes YA and is repped by Daniel Lazar at Writers House.
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