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Read an excerpt of UNCLE NEDDY'S FUNERAL by L.M. Pampuro + $25 GC #Giveaway | @GoddessFish Presents #Suspense

Goddess Fish Promotions has organized a Virtual Blurb Blitz Tour for UNCLE NEDDY'S FUNERAL by L.M. Pampuro, a Suspense available now from Amazon/LMPG.

L.M. Pampuro will be awarding a $25 Amazon or Barnes and Noble GC to a randomly drawn winner via rafflecopter during the tour.

Be sure to follow the tour and comment; the more you comment, the better your chances of winning. The tour dates can be found at the bottom of the post.



Uncle Neddy's Funeral
by L.M. Pampuro

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GENRE:   Suspense

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BLURB:

Giuseppe Vittorio Vaffanculo, a.k.a. Neddy, is not a bad person, he just holds himself in high praise. Neddy is the perfect target for Rayleigh O’Connor, member of an underworld organization and soon to be Ms. Neddy number five. As part of the Vaffanculo-Cuzzuto clan, Neddy is the perfect mark Rayleigh needs to avenge the death of a comrade by killing Victor Cuzzuto.

All Victor Cuzzuto wants to do is finally retire to the beach, spend time with his family, and hand over the reins of his Federal Investigation branch office to his protégée, Bruno.
Uncle Neddy’s Funeral - The King Of Bad Decisions.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~


EXCERPT:

“Brothers and sisters, we have come to say good bye to our brother, Giuseppe Vittorio Vaffanculo.”

“For crying aloud did this guy even know Neddy?” Gia hissed in her sister’s ear. The middle child of the Vaffanculo relations, Gia sat with arms folded across her satin black dress, in her opinion, a beautiful garment wasted on a funeral. Her eyes volleyed between the crowded sanctuary and the man standing at the podium. Her younger sister by a year, Amelia, stared at the priest with intent. Her eyes tearing at the mention of her favorite uncle’s name.

“Giuseppe was an exceptional man: father, brother, son…” as the priest paused a moment Amelia glanced over at her ninety-year-old grandmother who sat playing with her false teeth. She nudged her sister in grandma’s direction. Grandma, dressed in traditional funeral black, included the customary laced veil, now thrown haphazardly over her head. Grandma Lena swished her teeth around her mouth, popped them through her lips, then caught the full set in her hand. Not a bit of spit followed. Without missing a beat she’d place the choppers back in to start again.

“Oh, this is going to be entertaining,” Gia smirked.

“Giuseppe was a fine man who loved his wife…”

“Which is he referring to?” Amelia giggled.

“…Adored his children…”

“Only those he knew about…” without missing a beat Gia responded.

“…And was a wonderful son…” a “humpf” came from the direction of their grandmother. The girls watched their mother squat walk towards grandma. She knelt in front of her, rubs the old lady’s arm, as she whispered something in her ear.
Grandma turned around and flicked her wrist in her daughter-in-law’s direction. The girls’ eyes grew wide.

“We would get slapped,” Gia pointed out to a nodding Amelia. Their mother just shrugged stood fully erect, walked back to her seat. Her face expressionless.

As the priest continued to extoll virtues her uncle never possessed, Gia looked around the crowded funeral home. Bright purple flower arrangements lined the wall then veered around the back of the casket. Family and friends sat, stood, and waited in the adjacent rooms, spilling outdoors under the canvass walkways to pay respects. She knew most of the folks around here all her life, some by reputation, most by some sort of relation.

“Giuseppe was a pillar in the community. He had a big heart…”

“Are you sure he’s talking about Uncle Neddy?” Amelia said.

“I don’t think this one had met him. He’s new. Remember, straight off the boat from the mothership,” The priest appeared to be moving around the alter to avoid stepping in something.

“Don’t you mean Mother Land?”

“Ship…Land…Tomato…Tomato… What is the difference? The guy knows nothing about our family or the person he is talking about.” Gia moved her right hand as she spoke, the same mannerism her mother and grandma used.

“Well he knows some stuff…”

“Yeah, what is on the script. Aunt Neddy the fourth wrote it up or do you think she’d let the fifth to be do the eulogy?”

“I think she’d rather be reading the fifth to be’s eulogy.” As both girls began to snicker Gia glanced up in to their mother’s warning glare. In silence Angela Victorio Cuzzuto Vaffanculo held up one finger. Gia nudged her sister. She gave a head nod towards their mother. Elegantly she raised a second finger. Her dark blue eyes never wavered.

Both Gia and Amelia gave a slight nod, leaned back in their chairs. Legs crossed at the knees they mirrored each other’s worried glances, unconsciously tapping their bottom foot. Angela relaxed a little in her chair. To her left, her husband Joe, snored quietly. Angela poked his arm. He would jump a little, smile at her, only to close his eyes again.

He held her left hand in his. Every so often she would feel a gentle squeeze. Ah, my Joseph, he works so hard at the restaurant. Still cleaning up his brother’s messes. She thought, so he’s napping. He is not disrespectful. It’s his brother’s funeral not mine. He’s better not nap at my funeral. A laugh escapes from her lips. Who am I kidding. I will bury him first. Here, a little nap hurts no one. Uhg – look at the line – I’m sure half are here because they love Neddy, the others want to make sure he’s dead. Her lips turned up into a discreet smile. Iksch – This is all good. All these people here. This will help us with our situation. I wonder how many know? She glances at her mother-in-law who now moved from playing with her teeth to eating what looks like a pignoli cookie. Now where did those cookies come from? Crumbs float down the old lady’s face. Angela nudged a tissue into Enzo’s hand. She pointed towards the older lady. “Oh, for crying aloud,” he proceeded to float down the row to the matriarch’s side, causing as little commotion as possible.

“Mrs. V, you need to stop with the cookies,” he reprimanded in a hushed voice the people in the back of the room could hear.

“I’m ninety years old…”

“You are not ninety, you are only eighty-five.”

“The stunad caused me so much stress I aged five years.” Enzo bit the inside of his cheek yet the grin across his face gave him away.

“I understand, but still, it is disrespectful to be chowing down at Neddy’s…”

“What’s disrespectful is having this idiota talk about someone her never met!” As the word idiota came out of the old lady’s lips, all those in close vicinity did the sign of the cross. The gesture continued down the rows like the wave at a football game.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~


AUTHOR Bio and Links:

L.M. Pampuro is the author of five novels: Dancing With Faith, Maximum Mayhem, The Perfect Pitch, Passenger – the only game in town, and Uncle Neddy’s Funeral. (All available at Amazon.com)

She is an avid skier, loves dancing to live music, and possess a warped sense of humor

For more information, please visit
www.pampuro.com

Goodreads:
https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/6610591.L_M_Pampuro
Amazon Author: https://www.amazon.com/LM-Pampuro/e/B007MLZC4O
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lmpampuro/



~~~~~~~~~~~~~


GIVEAWAY:

L.M. Pampuro will be awarding a $25 Amazon or Barnes and Noble GC to a randomly drawn winner via rafflecopter during the tour.

a Rafflecopter giveaway


TOUR PARTICPANTS:

July 10: EskieMama and Dragon Lady Reads
July 11: Must Read Faster
July 12: Deal Sharing Aunt
July 13: The Avid Reader
July 14: Long and Short Reviews
July 14: Books, Dreams,Life
July 17: Ramblings of a Coffee Addicted Writer
July 18: Just a Little RandR
July 19: Christine Young
July 20: Laurie's Thoughts and Reviews
July 21: Jazzy Book Reviews
July 24: Readeropolis
July 25: Fabulous and Brunette
July 26: Mello and June, It's a Book Thang!
July 27: Mixed Book Bag
July 28: Welcome to My World of Dreams

SIN EATER by Alesha Escobar & Samantha Lafantasie + #Giveaway | Silver Dagger Tours | #Fantasy #Paranormal

Thanks for stopping by Readeropolis. Today's fantasy/paranormal feature is SIN EATER by Alesha Escobar and Samantha Lafantasie. 

Be sure to enter for a chance to win the tour giveaway and follow the Silver Dagger book tour (for other dates see the link at the bottom of the post).



Sin Eater



The Aria Knight Chronicles Book 1

by Alesha Escobar and Samantha Lafantasie

Genre: Fantasy, Paranormal


Aria Knight has an unusual set of skills: she will hold back the hounds of Hell so you can fly toward the Pearly Gates, and she will wipe your slate clean so that you don't become karma's bitch...for a price.



A Sin Eater has to make a living in today's world somehow.


But when she's called in the dead of night to perform her rite for a recluse billionaire, she stumbles upon a murder scene, and the evidence points to her.

In an attempt to clear her name and uncover the true culprit, Aria is forced to team up with a private investigator who's possessed by three spirits, and a handsome wizard who would rather see all Sin Eaters like Aria go extinct.

Aria knows her job is never easy, but now it's become downright deadly.

SIN EATER is the first book of the Aria Knight Chronicles by USA Today bestselling author Samantha LaFantasie and Alesha Escobar, author of the bestselling Gray Tower Trilogy.



**.99 on Amazon!!**




I’m a caffeine addict and chocoholic who enjoys reading and writing engaging stories, loveable (and not-so loveable) characters, and expressing my creativity daily. I write fantasy with intriguing characters, action-packed scenes, and always throw in a good dash of humor and romance.

Science Fiction and Fantasy are my favorite genres, but I also adore the classics (Shakespeare, Dante Alighieri, etc.) and I have a soft spot in my heart for Victorian poetry. You can geek out with me all-day every day over these.

Some of my favorite contemporary fantasy authors are George R.R. Martin, Robert Jordan (rest in peace), J.K. Rowling, Neil Gaiman, Jim Butcher (Dresden Files made me love Urban Fantasy), and Ilona Andrews among others. I enjoy movies and shows like Sleepy Hollow, Supernatural, Arrow, The Flash, The Avengers…there are too many to name!

I want to read more comics and graphic novels, please shoot a recommendation or two my way (I LOVE the Hellblazer comics, by the way).

Please don’t be a stranger–I want you to kick up your feet, sip your coffee (or tea) and join in on my weekly rants, discussions, and updates.





Follow the tour HERE for exclusive excerpts and a giveaway!




TWIST OF FATE: A Summer of Second Chances | Silver Dagger Tours | #Giveaway

Thanks for stopping by Readeropolis. Today's feature is TWIST OF FATE, a romance boxed set.

Be sure to enter for a chance to win the tour giveaway and follow the Silver Dagger book tour (for other dates see the link at the bottom of the post).




Twist of Fate:
A Summer of Second Chances

with stories by 

Samantha Jacobey, Rebekah Dodson, Kristen Luciani, Desiree L. Scott,
A. Nicky Hjort,  L.A. Remenicky, Aubree Lane, Taya Wood, B.B. Raven


Break out of the cold with a splendid spring and summer collection - nine suspense filled tales by nine talented authors. Available for a limited time, Lavish Publishing is proud to present Twist of Fate: A Summer of Second Chances. 

.

Inside, new worlds await discovery. Women fight for their dreams and for new lives while men stand up for love and for what they believe. Be swept away by their exciting adventures, but hurry - this set will be gone as quickly as these warm and lazy days of Summer 2017...

.

The set includes:

.

Gilded Rose by Rebekah Dodson

When Rose OConner meets the mysterious Alejandro Zabelta, he sweeps her off her feet and shows her a love she never knew existed; but secrets hide behind his dark eyes.
.
A Sinister Bouquet: Awakening by A. Nicky Hjort
Devyn Mitchell has a choice- listen to the voice of her unborn baby or die... again.
.
Captive by Samantha Jacobey
Raised to be an assassin, used by Bikers and Drug Lords and hunted by the FBI, Tori Farrell is running for her life.... Can you handle the ride?
.
Negative Eight by Aubree Lane
Wedding day dream or disaster?
.
Fatal Lies by Kristen Luciani
When forbidden lust becomes a deadly game, the price of silence may be too high to pay.
.
Shot of Whiskey by B.B. Raven
He was the perfect horse, that fell into the wrong hands.
.
Saving Cassie by L.A. Remenicky
Everyone has secrets, sometimes secrets can get you killed.
.
Crescent Vendetta by Desiree L. Scott
Vanessa Burns has survived a life of brutality and neglect within a pack hated by many but will she be strong enough to survive the possession of an Alpha who should hate her?
.
Lucy’s Vision by Taya Wood
Lucy radiates bright, invigorating colours and sees into hidden worlds. Being normal and fitting in holds little appeal for this small-town Aussie girl until testing her powers to their limits threatens her sanity.



** .99 on Amazon!**







Rebekah Dodson is a prolific word weaver of romance, fantasy, and science fiction novels. Her works include the series Postcards from Paris, The Surrogate, The Curse of Lanval series, several stand alone novels, and her upcoming YA novel, Clock City. She has been writing her whole life, with her first published work of historical fiction with 4H Clubs of America at the age of 12, and poetry at the age of 16 with the National Poetry Society. With an extensive academic background including education, history, psychology and English, she currently works as a college professor by day and a writer by night. 













A. Nicky Hjort is originally from Arlington, Texas- the second of five siblings, all of whom have strong creative talents. She currently lives in coastal central California where she practices medicine as an Ob/GYN. In between being a lovingly devoted mother and delivering babies, she writes stories that cross multiple genre lines- from Sci Fi to high fantasy, but all of her stories have thriller and strong romantic components. And for her clever reader, all of her manuscripts are subtly connected to each other, with their purpose to explore all facets of Love and Light. She likes to say that her stories write themselves, and in the process, often write her, or at least the next version of her hoping to emerge. A lover of all the arts, A. Nicky Hjort hopes her stories might inspire you to find your inner creative genius.


As for her heroes- they are as varied and eclectic as her choice of narrative genres, but when pushed to list her favorite influences, she would say James Patterson, Barbara Kingsolver, Patricia Cornwell, Dean Koonntz, Gene Roddenberry, Shel Silverstein, Suzanne Collins, and Walt Disney.







Samantha Jacobey
Anyone who knows me could tell you, I am a friendly kind of person, never met a stranger and take up conversations any where at any time. I work hard, and my mind never seems to shut down, as I wake up often in the middle of the night with ideas pouring out and demanding to be dealt with. Of course that means much of my books were written in the middle of the night.


I grew up and still live in the great state of Texas where everything is bigger, where we have warm weather and a central location. I love my state, my town, and my family, which includes my four sons, my significant other, and many friends as well.



I have thoroughly enjoyed writing the books that are currently available and hope you will enjoy reading them just as much. And of course, there will be many more stories to come.






Aubree Lane is a true story teller. This award winning author has been writing in one form or another for most of her life and has loved every moment.



Aubree lives in the beautiful foothills of Northern California with her husband, two wonderful sons, and a super special peek-a-poo named Tanner. When not managing the pooper-scooper, Aubree can be found at one of her favorite vacation spots ranging anywhere from Lake Tahoe to Maui.



Her motto: Write Until Your Butt Hurts, And Your Eyes Are Crossed.



Aubree and her husband enjoy the harvest of their seasonal garden and relaxing in the paradise they created, called home.







Kristen Luciani is a bestselling author and self-proclaimed momtrepreneur with a penchant for stilettos, Silicon Valley, plunging necklines and grapefruit martinis. As a deep-rooted romantic who prefers juicy drama to fill the lives of anyone other than her, she tried her hand at creating a world of enchantment, sensuality, and intrigue, finally uncovering her true passion. No pun intended…














B.B. Raven
I am very stubborn and independent. I have a big heart and I love children. One of the reasons why I chose to contribute to the Shades of Fear Anthology is because it was for a charity that would help children with cancer. I had a very unstable childhood; my father was an alcoholic and my mother abandoned me. Thank goodness for my grandparents. My grandfather, who is now 78, is still a big part of my life. My son and I help take care of him. We are simple southern folk who enjoy collard greens and fried chicken on Sundays.






L.A. Remenicky ~ Love Stories With A Twist
L.A. Remenicky is a wife and mother of two fur kids. A payroll professional by day, she writes out the stories in her head by night.
An avid reader all her life, she finally put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) during NaNoWriMo in 2012 and has never looked back. When she’s not typing away on her latest story with music playing in the background, she can usually be found spending time with her family and friends.


Desiree Scott
I have been writing since I was sixteen years old and love to write both horror and romantic suspense. I think there have been many influences within my life that has set me on the path that I can not help but walk. A few of those names consist of Karen Rose, Lisa Gardener, Nora Roberts, Cynthia Eden, Catherine Anderson, Laura Griffin, Andrea Kane, and Lisa Jackson, just to name a few. This list by no means defines by own writing but they have indeed influenced my desire to live outside of my own world and to create the thrill of my dreams. I live on 40 + acres in the SHOW ME state with my six year old daughter, with the wonderful addition of four dogs and a handful of chickens. The weather is unpredictable, but the surrounding beauty of the country helps my creativity as I sit on my top deck with my laptop and coffee close by.



Taya Wood
Unexplored possibilities and impossibilities have always fascinated Taya Wood. As a child she would stargaze most nights, wondering about the universe and imagining how things used to be, are, and could be in the future, so writing speculative fiction was inevitable. 



Having spent her former years as a graphic designer and life coach and then running a business assisting creative people to earn a living, Taya now writes magic realism and paranormal fantasy. 



She lives in an eco house in a forest with her husband, several kingfishers and kookaburras, a fishpond, some water dragons and a very large goanna.



Follow the tour HERE!






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